I have been wanting write here for the last two weeks. My mind is pulled to this site and I find a peace within knowing its existing, like at least part of my world is tidied neatly under the mangoes.
I have so much to share. I have so many vignettes about the yellow haze of sunshine in Spirit Lake, Iowa is more golden than any other. I could tell you that it’s the most fertile soil in the world (yes, do think, the movie Interstellar), I could tell you I painted a little ceramic teal streaks of blue and hazy clouds over a black lined mountain inspired by an artist hanging already on the wall at the ceramic shop…
What I want to share with you is:
The importanceof being and expressing self.
When I had found myself back on the plane toward San Diego after a Gold-woven spun perfected trip with only little family dramas here and there, I began combing my computer for my books, my writings and what I found was a perfectly formatted book from 2018 in the month of March.
Somehow the time of my son’s graduation and empty nest thing, this book had fallen back behind a cyber shelf and I had forgotten about its importance to me.
And, now with Mango Jane publishing coming to life, I could tell you, I remembered I had written it of course, and shared the cover, but I had forgotten the tone, the sound and how the voice that shares the lessons inside this book must have come from a deep well within that can only be accessed under perfect conditions. When reading the manuscript, my little heart began to flutter with hope.
I have been a bit sideways for about a year and half…this could be the part where I mention empty nest, yoga teaching, training, yada yada yada, excuse after excuse, but the the truth is, I was uncertain how to get behind this book and share it with the world. I mean, after all, how do I know what Angel Lessons are?
It all began during a Savasana back in 2017 at my beloved little Bergamot yoga studio next to koi pond only a few blocks from the beach. This place lifted my core being to a new sense of wonder. My teacher there helped my break through barriers with my body I never knew were possible. I found myself deep within a quieter space after 1.5 hours of power yoga (variations of Ashtanga) and at the end in corpse pose sprawled out over my mat, underneath the cushioned beaded eye-cover that blocked the light, I did see a flicker of light so real, I observed the light from my mind’s eye.
I could see it and I watched as the light revealed a cliff near a beach with 10 angels flying off the edge & then out, over the ocean.
(Yes, I am aware, this sounds out there.)
The cliff that reminded me of Etretat painting by Monet.
After that yoga session was over, I went home and wrote down what my mind’s eye had seen during my final yoga resting pose.
Later, when I was reading my book that I was reading at that time, The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, I wrote inside the worn-torn jacket of the book the outline of Angel Lessons. I wrote a small book on angel lessons soon after.
This is the manuscript I had found buried in my computer, while I was riding thousands of miles high on a plane, after leaving the golden haze of happiness from my family vacation.
I gave myself a little hug for writing the meditation down and letting my heart be inspired by the meditation (this does not always happen).
The book is a guide in learning how to tune in the small quiet voice within our heart that we can hear only if we make a blank space for it.
Yes, like meditation. Yes, like prayer. Yes, like nature walks. Yes, like time for self to reflect and to go within to find out what’s there.
To write here now at this moment is like my soul coming together with a few set of honest words.
I feel free to tell you that this life will have many ups and downs. I feel free to tell you that your perfect ideal of yourself does exist if you spend enough time investing in ‘self.’
After all, aren’t you worth it? I feel free to tell you as a free write this without editing my thoughts,
In doing this, we find out where the gold nuggets are, the treasure at the end of the rainbow that lies within us.
The treasure may be hidden for many years. You may have to dig down, deep to find out what you love and what makes your soul feel aligned to the earth beneath the ground.
You may have to walk through hard chapters to recognize the incandescent meaning of what your soul secretly loves, but just like Dorothy and The Yellow Brick Road, we can’t always make the discovery without understanding who we are and what matters most to our hearts.
What happens after you uncover your own golden heart’s desire?
Your breathing will become steady and you will know just what you were meant to do besides motherhood and changing career hats and walking the dogs. You feel as if all of the past has lead you to now, just so you could uncover the jewel inside.
You will know what you need to do for the rest of your waking life and at that moment, when that happens, you are never the same again.
You walk taller. You feel lighter. You feel as if confidence is just as natural as counting the hours of sleep on your fingers.
Nothing is forced.
What was missing or you had gone out searching for among the vastness of your memories, people, places, and dreams was always within you, just waiting to be dug up and revealed to to you, the life that you have been secretly waiting to live.
And, yes, I am just sharing a cute photo of Fibi, my Chihuahua. She give me great joy and I’m not even a dog person.